Happy Birth­day John!

--February 27th, 2009--
tuna casserole

Many of you will be famil­iar with the annual tus­sle between my beloved and me. As Feb­ru­ary 27 approaches, my daily query, “What are you in the mood for, for din­ner?” gets the response more and more fre­quently, “Tuna casse­role.” I know what you’re think­ing. Some­thing unprint­able, prob­a­bly. I myself am devoted to tuna. It’s as likely as not to find me eat­ing tuna salad — with pine nuts, lemon zest, sun­flower seeds, chick peas, loads of cel­ery — three times a week for lunch. But HOT tuna? No. Tuna steaks, per­haps. But to open a can of tuna and make it HOT? It’s tan­ta­mount to cook­ing cat food. But every Feb­ru­ary, the topic comes up.

It’s a cher­ished child­hood clas­sic for John (thanks, Rose­mary!). And every once in awhile over the past 20 years or so I have caved. My sis­ter patiently pro­vided the recipe one year, and it was com­pletely suc­cess­ful, in that it was com­pletely repul­sive. Hot tuna! Then there was the year that I agreed silently to make it as a sur­prise… to greet him when he returned from a long busi­ness trip on his birth­day… and the sur­prise was sup­planted by an even more impor­tant one: I found out I was expect­ing Avery. On his birth­day! On that occa­sion we were so over­come that I never thought to cook the noo­dles ahead of bak­ing the casse­role, and every SNICK of liq­uid from the tuna and the canned mush­room soup (I know, I know) was absorbed by them and the con­sis­tency of the whole dish some­where between wet woolen socks and dry­ing clay. You can imag­ine. Only also SMELLY.

Well, today I gave in once more. Would you believe there’s a video on how to make tuna casse­role? I really think you should watch it, if only for the sound effects: wait till the end when the cook tips the nox­ious mix­ture into the bak­ing dish. The suck­ing sound is like some primeval mud let­ting go a trea­sured fos­sil, while it was still wet and alive.

So be it.

He is my trea­sured hus­band, albeit with highly ques­tion­able taste buds. He ate fully half the fin­ished dish for lunch, which, as one of my best friends pointed out, “solves half of THAT prob­lem.” He can eat the other half for lunch tomor­row. And the debate is over for another year. Happy Birth­day, my dear.

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