She had always hated waste
So made a verdant, pungent paste
from tons of foraged wild garlic
(which sadly made the family sick)
She moved to dead things squashed quite flat
rabbit, stoat or grouse
The collection expanded with rats and a cat
(There started a terrible smell in the house)
Alas, she progressed from road kill
not satisfied with hedgehogs now.
She started to pick off lambs from the hill
and last night she came home with a cow.
Driving along a country lane
her shovel always ready
some thought she looked a touch insane
kalashnikov held steady
She gave her visitors badger stew
with lamb kidneys a la Hungarian
the lot of them spent the whole night in the loo
and have now all turned full vegetarian
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(serves 4 with good side dishes)
1 pork tenderloin, any sinews removed
olive oil to fill the cup of your hand
1 tbsp each: Aleppo pepper flakes, sea salt, fresh chopped rosemary, fresh chopped thyme, fresh chopped parsley, minced garlic
Lay the tenderloin on a cutting board or a piece of greaseproof paper, and rub all over with the olive oil. Then scatter your mixed herbs and whatnot on the surface, the length of the tenderloin, and roll the meat around until you’ve pressed as much as possible of the mixture into the meat surface. Roast at 425 degrees (220-ish celsius) for 25 minutes, if you like the pork pink in the middle, longer for more well-done. Remove to a cutting board and let rest for 10 minutes while you put the finishing touches on
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